The Sugu Pavithara Melodrama - I told you so, didn't I? it's so easy to fail!

Generally, I do not like to write about individuals, but this woman had caught my attention and made me very mad. Hopping mad. She built a following on YouTube and then deleted all her videos, after garnering more than 700,000 subscribers.  She was given award as Ipoh City icon, which she returned and snubbed the Mayor of Ipoh City. She had the chance to meet the PM, an opportunity many of us may not get in our life times unless we attend PM residence Hari Raya Open House, and she threw all that away for an abusive alcoholic man whom she reveres as husband. And she deleted her videos, snubbing her subscribers. I wasn't one of the subscribers, mind you. But I wrote about her in an earlier posting: https://survivingemptynestmyway.blogspot.com/2020/07/the-sugu-pavithra-melodrama-can-never.html because for me her predicament was close to home.

She did exactly what I said she should not do. She failed. Good for her, three to five years down the road I bet she would be in the news seeking donation probably for the medical treatment of her abusive alcoholic husband. Now, let's look at some stark realities about her rags to riches story:

1. YouTube is Public Domain

So, let's talk about being on YouTube. Many people who opened YouTube channel only looked at the popularity and money that it could garner. They forget that they put their personal lives online, just like any celebrity. That was what happened to the Sugu Pavithra channel. Their personal lives came to the fore, more so when their rags to riches story caught the attention of the PM and media. So, like it or not, it will become judgment by the public when something happens. And something did happen - her alcoholic husband landed in jail for abusing her. She was the one who made the police report and ironically, she was the one who bailed him out. Rumours were that their entire earnings from YouTube was used to bail him out - RM15K. Great, now they are back to square one - poverty. The husband has no income after leaving his fruit plucking job, she had always been a housewife, so go figure how they are going to pay for the house and car that they had acquired. So, moving back to estate is an option? So, there you go, that's what we call a failure.

2. A spouse should support, not suppress

The fact that her husband was said to have her hit because his name was mentioned during the award ceremony, is a huge red flag. Ego aside, he can't see his other half recognized without him being in the picture. This is one man who deserved dumping right away for men like him are dead weights that would suppress any woman's success. Trust me, I have been there. The exact happened in my first marriage. The man I married eventually started his alcohol sessions with his friends, late nights and all,  and I was left with two kids at home, a tired woman who wore multiple hats. Every effort I made to break out of the `chain' was suppressed by him because he could not stomach that I, too, can be successful. But break the chain I did, when I divorced him - that was when my life took off, haven't looked back ever since. If Pavithra had had any commonsense, she would have dumped him in the lock up and continue with her channel, use that as launching pad and soar to heights. YouTube is just a launching pad, not life. That is one way to pull herself out of poverty and her entire clan plus generation and future generations. But she decided to retreat into the well called marriage. Kudos!

3. Everything comes with an opportunity cost

In economics there is a term called `opportunity cost'. It means if you want two things at the same time, economics said since resources are limited you may have to settle for one and let go of the other. The one you let go is called `opportunity cost'. Can we keep both? Yeah, sure, if you are willing to settle for less which may not be what you want. 

Success also has its cost. Mine was at the loss of sleep sometimes and a little body pain. For Pavithra, could be a marriage. If you have watched the movie called `Bhaag Johnny' (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GnqgrDzi0hs), you will know that our lives are designed according to our decisions at every juncture in life and very rarely we can track back, because time and tide waits for no man. Opportunities come knocking only once. Make hay while the sunshines. In Tamil, they say enjoy(or use) the breeze while it lasts. Well, girl, your breeze is gone, gone for good. Now, go back to that wretched estate life of poverty.

4. What were her alternatives?

Well, since she is so much into marriage and husband, she should have done a video where both of them are together post lock up episode and he talks about his mistake; she talks about forgiving an erring spouse and thank all viewers for their patience and carry on. That would have garnered more subscribers and respect.

She should have gone silent on the award, thanking the Mayor of Ipoh City, not return it, Indian movie style. Case closed.

Then, she should have continued with her videos and slowly build her brand. Life goes on. eventually, people would have forgotten that incident. 

But as we all know her decisions were knee-jerk. Yeah, may be his family and her family would have advised her to do what she did but then again soaring to success - who said comes easy? The buzz word is `opportunity cost'. You see, the reality is, the same family who had advised her on the knee jerk decisions would not be there for her when she needs monetary support. Relatives are like that, trust me.

So, folks, was I wrong to say Malaysian Indians are in the state they are in, by choice? And I feel like rubbing it in - I did say so, didn't I?